A person could sit there and say that in a horrible
situation, they could be the bigger person, but in reality, when a situation
happens, everybody starts to feel the prickle of anger swipe through their
blood stream. What do you do when your whole life is shattered by one single
individual person’s words? I have always failed at letting things go.
It’s not for lack of trying.
I always like to think that I have a sensitive heart, and
that when someone thinks it’s funny to put a person down, they are really only
doing it because their life sucks. It’s worse when they say it in front of a
five year old child. From the beginning I was always in the way. I stepped in
to help, but being that I am the outsider I was the number one target.
It hurt my five year old, and it hurt me. I wanted so badly
to scream and cuss. I wanted to cry, hadn’t I had enough of a crappy life
before? Did I really do something to deserve someone else’s insecurities added
to my list of failures?
We all have days where we feel incredible anger. It takes
over our minds, and leaves us in a mindless daze of revenge and outrage. The
biggest question is, do we hurt those around us, or simply let the anger go?
I wish I could say that I was the bigger person in every bad
situation, but then I would have to add being a liar to my list of flaws. I
want to say something. I want send a text, a message, or a phone call and tell
them to keep their life to themselves, and that if they had a problem with me
to simply tell me rather than spewing my name to the world and to a child.
When you tell a child something nasty about another person
you are only adding to their hurt. I know this game though. I know the
challenge you can face when trying to correct a person’s wrong. Even if your intentions
are pure good, someone can change that and in the end you lose control, or
become the bad person. I don’t want to lower myself in any way. I want to be
better, do better, and show my five year old better.
I have to do something right, and the only way to do that is
to step out of the immature shadow that was thrust my way and step into the
light of a parent, the shoes that sometimes are too hard to fill, but have to
in order to make sure that my daughter never feels that it is okay to follow in
the footsteps of a bully, into the life of someone insecure.
